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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24727858">Dinner Is Ruined</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieNyght/pseuds/ValkyrieNyght'>ValkyrieNyght</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BAMF Alec Lightwood, Consequences, Gen, Immortal Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magic and Science, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:20:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,130</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24727858</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieNyght/pseuds/ValkyrieNyght</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Everybody chill the f-ck out! I got this." - Alec Lightwood, The Man With No Chill. </p><p>Listen, you can't just do something like absorb AN ENTIRE DEMON REALM, survive that, and not expect there to be consequences. Alec Lightwood just did the thing. This is the tale that explains exactly what that meant.</p><p>Or, in other words. A story about the morning after of the night before.<br/>A continuation of Aria_Lerendeair's "When Edom Descends."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>237</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Morning After the Night Before</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/gifts">Aria_Lerendeair</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24240253">When Edom Descends</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair">Aria_Lerendeair</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic can be blamed entirely on Aria. She went and made Alec do something so spectacularly stupid that it made my brain explode. The fact that this thing exists for everyone to read is because of the Shadowhunter Discord server. Seriously, this wouldn't never have left the confines of my mind without everyone on it screaming at me.<br/>Shout out to the wonderful EternallySilver for looking over my mashed up magical science theory on the fly. </p><p>Finally, this is my first fic. Ever. So I know it's not the best. But we all start somewhere. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, be gentle, it's my first time.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn’t immediately apparent to anyone what the consequences of Alec absorbing Edom was going to be. There were admittedly a few panicky hours immediately after the fact that were fraught with tension and unanswered questions. Unfortunately they were annoyingly relevant questions like “What happens now?” and “Are you sure you’re okay, you’re kind of glowing at the moment?” and “Is this a cause for concern?” That last one came from the ever annoying Clave Council. The same self-described leaders of the Nephilim that no one saw hide nor blade of during the actual invasion took exactly six seconds to decide that a walking talking demon realm was too much of an imminent threat to allow to be free, much less alive.</p><p>

Or, they would have made that decision if any of the witnesses had deigned to tell the truth about what actually happened.</p><p>

In a different version of events, “is this a cause for concern?” could have been about Alec’s brand new status as an unknown quantity.</p><p>

In this version, all those present would rather slit their throats and maybe cut out their tongues before outing Alec in any fashion, so the Clave’s questions revolved more around the status of the rift and the unfortunate crater leftover from Alec’s impromptu decision to hug it out with a demon realm.</p><p>

Alec had approximately ninety-nine problems to deal with in his near future, but the need for a nap was definitely number one. Property damage, collateral damage, anybody’s damage really, fell as a distant, like third??? Maybe thirty-third.  He was gonna get right on that. However, he had priorities. He needed a shower, his bed, and goodnight kisses from his fiancé first.</p><p>

There were some epic lies told that night. The following morning also got in on the action and witnessed everyone perform a near perfect montage of falsehood that was about a 3:2:1 ratio of doctored truth, outright lies, and magical theory that made it all seem plausible. It was beautiful.</p><p>

The weeks that followed saw Alec chipping away at the pile of issues that was his life now. He had a list. It was bulleted and alphabetized. This mattered for jack shit when all of them demanded his immediate attention.</p><p>

The Clave howled for answers incessantly. They hounded Alec and his family; clearly wanting to foist the blame onto someone. Heaven forbid they took responsibility for anything that made them look bad. The round robin of passing the blame came to a screeching halt when they set their sights on Magnus. Or rather, the Clave attempted to blame him; wanting to claim his presence in the Glass City as being the catalyst for everything bad that had ever happened ever. The Spiral Labyrinth was forced to step in, and from then on everything became a high stakes game of chicken: thee who blinked first lost.</p><p>

In so many words, the Labyrinth argued that if warlock presence within Alicante was so intolerable then they could remove evidence of warlock magic from the city. All. Of. It. From the biggest and latest (being the sealing of the rift) down to every enchantment on anything with so much as a whiff of magic on it. The Clave had an awfully nice capital, it would be a such a shame if something happened to it.</p><p>

Now this was clearly a lie. It was in no one’s interest to have a whole ass rift to a different dimension gaping open anywhere much less the Nephilim capital city. Not to mention that opening the rift again at this point was impossible because there was no more Edom. Kind of. But no one was going to tell the Clave that. Getting the chance to have the Clave by the balls would never be an opportunity any Downworlder would be to pass up.</p><p>

After that not so subtle threat… The Clave blinked first, but tried real hard to make it look like they didn’t. (They got something in their eye is all. Thank you for remarking on it.)</p><p>

All of this nonsense happens around Alec, but beyond giving his (heavily edited) report he couldn't spare too much effort on it because he was too busy trying not to explode. He meant that figuratively. Mostly.</p><p>

Turns out that Edom didn’t go dormant so much as she got tired. The whole process of packing herself down into a single human took lots of effort.  The morning after the night before Alec woke up floating four feet above his mattress. He also got to experience what being a passenger in his own body felt like. Spoilers: It was kind of the worst thing ever.</p><p>

Magnus completely agrees with this statement.  He was man enough to admit that the sight of a 6’3” Shadowhunter (any Shadowhunter really, not just his) levitating over his head with glowing purple eyes was both creepy as shit and scared at least 35 years off his life. Thankfully, he was good under pressure because in the last few years he has got a lot practice at being just that. So while Alec was busy internally screaming, Magnus was rushing to tell Edom to please calm the heck down. Sanity (and gravity) was restored in the name of the king.</p><p>

Being the walking talking avatar of a demon realm had its drawbacks, but also its benefits. None were so extreme that Alec would ever regret his decision to keep Magnus with him. This was because Alec is a certified hopeless romantic whose idea of a low key love declaration is setting the world on fire and then offering a bag of marshmallows.  He would admit (only under threat of withheld cuddling privileges) the growing pains were somewhat (please feel free to read that as extremely) unusual, but overall Alec finds he was kind of Zen about the whole thing. A lot of that can probably be blamed on the fact that sharing headspace with Edom forced him to do a lot of self-introspection.</p><p>

Forgive them (for they were running on a bit of a time crunch) but the initial moving-in period was too rushed for any real boundaries to be set. Afterward, Alec was forced to figure out exactly who he thought he was. A large part of his getting a new roommate was staking out what was Alec, what was Edom, and what both agreed to call theirs. (Magnus went into this last category immediately and with no contest). Nothing was allowed to be overlooked. Edom would not accept anything less than the best for her king.</p><p>

For weeks various Shadowhunters and virtually all of his family could catch him in various places staring into space. What he was really doing was having debates within his head. Edom's opinions tended to lean toward the extreme end of kill it with fire. Alec was generally opposed to this as a rule. They clashed.</p><p>

Hosting Edom forced Alec to develop several opinions very quickly. He found that having an unshakable sense of self was vital. If Alec did not know what was specifically him or where he stood on issues then he started to lose himself in the screaming whirlwind that was Edom when she was stuck on something. The truth was that Alec was learning how to live with Edom. At the same time,  Edom was trying to learn how to exist as a person. The whole thing was very stressful and it sucked so freaking much. The end result was an Alec who was a practical force of nature unto himself. It ended up both boosting his confidence tenfold and severely hampering his ability to panic. Who knew that surviving being interrogated to within an inch of his life by the personification of a hell dimension would make things (like, SO many things) look a lot less dire.</p><p>

Alec and Magnus spent a lot of that time talking about politics. Alec and Edom also spent a lot of that time talking about politics. There was also the rare instance where Alec/Edom and Magnus talked about politics. That last one had significantly more yelling though.</p><p>

When he did slip, things in his office started to explode at random. Jace also always came by to ask if Alec was feeling particularly demonic that day. Alec had to replace a lot of lightbulbs during that time of his life. Actually, he made Edom replace them because there was no room in the budget for Edom’s hissy fits. Magic for the win.</p><p>

Magnus, bless his beautiful, perfect soul (listen, Alec may be bias on this, but also could not give a shit. Fight him) tried to help him and set up shields inside his mind to try and preserve his sense of self. The philosophy being that tall fences made good neighbors. What they didn’t realize was that because Magnus’ magic was literally from Edom, the wall was less a wall and more a curtain. And just like all textile products, it tended to shift and sway when agitated.</p><p>

Izzy hadn’t taken the news that her brother was now the host of Edom well. The aftermath was mainly quite a bit of screaming and even more punching. It lasted only long enough for her to wrap her brain around the concept. Then, her brain started thinking about what this unprecedented situation actually meant. Nothing came to mind, which should not have been surprising in the least, yet still caught her off guard. This had literally never happened before. She wouldn’t have even thought to consider it possible. But her love for her brothers spurned her on to figure out how Alec was going to live with his decision. And in order to do that she had to first figure out just what that entailed. She left Magnus and Jace in charge of Alec and descended on her lab with a mission. At some point she called Catarina and between the two of them they organized several dozen tests.</p><p>

In between (sometimes during, Izzy learned to be an opportunist) Alec’s periods of spacing out she terrorized him onto an exam table. She ran every test she could think of and took enough blood and tissue to be confused with a vampire for if she thought of more. Izzy and Catarina learned they worked very well together in a crisis. Both considered this to be a good thing because seriously, these days their lives came with a truly excessive amount of bullshit.</p><p>

They concluded that Alec’s body had shifted on a fundamental level. The majority of his physical makeup was basically solidified demonic energy with just enough angelic energy mixed in for flavor. The competing angelic energy, compounded with the parabatai bond, acted as a counterbalance that allowed Alec to remain the dominant aspect that controlled his body. It was exactly as terrifying as it sounds. The sheer amount of energy contained in his body also caused a few weird side effects.</p><p>

One of the first things they realized was that Alec’s body had become denser. This proved to be a little problematic. During the first tests, needles broke when they tried to get to his veins. Catarina was forced to use magic to get it, and that worked only after she asked Edom nicely to allow the intrusion.  Izzy had to fashion a scalpel made of adamas in order to get tissue samples. Catarina thought it could be because there was so much compacted power in a restricted space. Izzy thought the interactions conflicting magic was causing a continuous expansion and retraction to occur. Like a magical black hole. Either way, the fact of the matter was that if Alec didn’t pay attention then his steps would crack whatever flooring he happened to be on at the time.</p><p>

One of the few things Alec could consciously control was how efficiently his body used the energy it held. What that translated to was that Alec only needed to sleep once every four to seven days depending on his level of activity. Before all this, the demands of his body were what kept Alec in line. Hunger and sleep being enough of a reminder to stop and pause as needed. With those essential indicators now missing, Alec would just keep going until someone told him to quit. It got to the point where his friends and family had to set up a schedule to come and interrupt him from his work. Otherwise, Alec forgot to stop.</p><p>

This led them to their final discovery. Alec’s body was now mostly stable energy that appeared to be self-renewing. This meant that he had stopped aging. His life now tied permanently to Edom and consequently Magnus.</p><p>

It was all slightly worrying, but overall it appeared that Alec Lightwood did a dumb thing and somehow everything still ended up in his favor. Perhaps it was the universe making up for using him as a whipping boy for the first two decades of his life. Perhaps it was because Alec’s superpower was the ability to shift probability in his favor. Perhaps it was because a higher power found the concept to be just amusing enough to let it slide. Whatever the reason, it just was, and Alec was not bothered by it because it was exactly what he wanted.</p><p>

"Everything's going to be fine you guys." - Alec Lightwood, Famous Last Words.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Honeymoon Period, No Parabatai Allowed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A family outing that does *not* end in bloodshed.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alec's a bit of an unreliable narrator. He's permanently quasi-possessed now though, so cut him some slack. </p><p>Since we saw them last, Two of these idiots got married. The rest are settling into a new normal.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time Alec was allowed out on a mission he gets hurt. Because of course he did. It was a fairly routine engagement, a small pack of Ravenor demons had set of shop in Red Hook. The three Lightwoods stole the opportunity to make it a family evening. Izzy had even packed snacks. Recent events had made quality family time a rare treat and so the thought of whole night with just the three of them brought out a sense of excitement in all of them. It felt like a throw-back to when their lives were simpler.</p><p>Everything was going well until Jace fucked it up for everyone.</p><p> It was down to the last demon. The last demon always brought on a curious sense of lackadaisical whimsy because, as was the case here, the last demon standing was usually hurt and backed into a corner. The threat, while there, was significantly lesser. While toying with your enemy wasn’t exactly sanctioned, Shadowhunters generally used this brief period to experiment a little. Many a new combo and finishing move had been discovered during this brief period between hyper-vigilance and aloof post-battle carelessness. The same scenario was happening in front of Alec now. Izzy had clearly already relaxed. She stood a few feet away absently wrapping her whip back around her wrist while trying to brush ash off of her jeans at the same time. He knew Jace would pout if he didn’t get his fun in, so he simply settled in. Using the alley wall to prop himself up, Alec folded his arms in front of him to enjoy whatever tomfoolery his parabatai was about to unleash.</p><p>Jace was mid-spin kick but had somehow misjudged the height of the fire escape. So what was supposed to be a rather impressive spin kick/overhand thrust combo was actually a spin kick/catch the sword on the hanging ladder. Jace lost his grip and the sword went careening behind him. To add injury to insult, said sword flipped end over end in a pirouette of gleaming white metal that then landed tip down. Right into Alec’s exposed forearm. The three of them simultaneously froze in shock. Because –</p><p>“Did that just happen?” The incredulous look on Izzy’s face spoke volumes. She darted past a still frozen Jace to take out the straggler with a dagger. Her moves were tight and measured; using only as much focus as was required. She didn’t even look as the last Ravenor exploded under her blade, too concerned with her idiot siblings.</p><p>Jace had the look of a man who hadn’t so much as walked to his death, but had suddenly found themselves there without having received an invite in the mail. There were few things Jace Herondale couldn’t make look good, but horrified embarrassment was apparently one of them.</p><p> Alec could only stare at the blade that currently impaled his arm. The past ten seconds looped again and again in his mind. His only thought being how Jace could possibly have biffed it so spectacularly that it ended in friendly fire?</p><p> There wasn’t any blood, and his brain must not have been processing fast enough because he didn’t think he was feeling as much pain as he was supposed to. To be fair, that could be chalked up to nerve damage, but Alec didn’t think even Jace could be that lucky. There was just this uncomfortably tight feeling of something being in his arm that shouldn’t be.</p><p>“Well.” He finally responded. “This is less than ideal.” Even with having just been stabbed Alec couldn’t help but find the entire situation absurdly funny. He was never letting Jace live this down. Ever.</p><p>All three watched as the blade slowly tilted forward before it bowed under its own weight and fell to the ground. The clatter when it hit the cement broke them all out of the moment. That’s when things got weird, and everyone got to learn a little bit more about the fun consequences of Alec’s terrible life decisions.</p><p>There was no blood, and the sight of tissue was conspicuously absent. Instead, a familiar purple light leaked out of the gaping hole in his arm. The sight was more terrifying than it should have been. Before this, nothing they had tried had even made dent, Alec’s skin seemingly impervious. It looked an awful lot like Jace had poked a hole in a lampshade rather than Alec’s arm.</p><p>“Please don’t tell Magnus!” The words rushed out of Jace’s mouth as he surged forward with stele in hand. Ever since they had got married, Magnus’ possessive streak over Alec had practically exploded. Jace wanted to test how vicious that streak was approximately never. He needed to fix his parabatai, he needed to fix his failure, and he most definitely needed to buy his siblings silence. He—</p><p>All three Shadowhunters froze once again and watched as the hole started to slowly pull together. As the wound continued to shrink, the light that shined from within slowly grew smaller before it finally winked out entirely. It left nothing but unblemished skin behind. The dawning realization that on top of everything else Alec apparently had a healing factor now was not welcome but not surprising. </p><p>“Huh. That’s different.” Alec was very carefully not freaking out about this. Something about this latest development shook him in ways that all the other side effects hadn’t managed to. Not even the immortality.  He knew he already had problems with knowing when to quit but now? As fun as thought of being able to fight a never ending battle was, Alec didn’t actually want to. He could list at least sixteen things he would rather do than play soldier forever. After that thought came an even more horrific one. A sudden epiphany that whether it was a brawl in an alley much like the one he was in at that moment, or in a political arena fighting for equal rights for the Downworld, he might never be allowed to stop. Would the world allow him to? Or would it demand he continuously take up arms simply because he could?<br/>
His mental spiral (mighty impressive as it was) was interrupted by a strong mental shove. He could suddenly sense Edom’s profound exasperation with his everything.  Rude, he projected the thought at the curtain. As if this was his fault. The only response was the mental equivalent of a huff followed by an image of Magnus on a thrown. Right, Edom and her magic served only at her king’s behest. And Magnus would never let the world abuse either of them.  He could ponder over this later. For now, he had siblings to terrorize. </p><p>“You didn’t tell me you came with your own mood lighting now brother. Honestly, it’s like we never talk anymore.” Izzy’s voice was full of concern, but her body practically vibrated with excitement. </p><p>Alec could practically see the new battery of tests she undoubtedly was going to inflict on him spawn up in front of him in real time. His scowl did nothing to dissuade her. Knowing that he had already lost both the battle and this particular war Alec decided to concede with as much dignity as he could. He rolled his eyes before crouching down to pick up Jace’s blade. Jace made to take it from him, but instead Alec hugged it close to his chest.<br/>
“No. This is mine now. I’m keeping this.”  Jace’s cry of indignation was sweet music to his ears as he led his siblings back onto the street. </p><p>Later that night, wrapped up in Magnus’ arms, Alec lay awake and stared at the ceiling. Tonight’s revelations had been unexpected. The addition of a healing factor that was beyond his runes capabilities or even hardcore warlock magic was yet another indication of just how far from human he was now. Though try as he might, he still wasn’t too worried about it. He couldn’t be. As far as he was concerned, any change he underwent that could be used to protect his family could only be a good thing. Secretly, and only in his mind, he would admit only to himself (and Edom, for he would never be able to keep anything from her) that everything that had happened had helped him become a better Shadowhunter. Maybe even more angelic? To better serve his purpose for existing? Angels were supposed to have been created to be soldiers that protected and guided in equal measure; their ordered posts being anything from planets, to cities, to people. Maybe his calling to do so was always meant to follow a darker path. One that was slightly less pure. He firmly believed that he was always meant to love Magnus. At this point he was content to believe that loving Magnus was the reason he was put on this Earth. And for all his power, Magnus rarely ever wanted to use it against someone. Even when they deserved it.<br/>
Maybe Alec’s purpose was always supposed to have been to watch over Magnus, to protect him however he could, and it just took him this long to figure it out.<br/>
He remembered that Asmodeus had once been an angel too, and he fell and created Edom. A parting from the light. It was a red shift that spawned uncountable nightmares. But terrible as he was, Asmodeus had created Magnus. Arguably the only good thing the fallen angel had ever done in his entire existence. Alec thought that….perhaps certain good things (the best things) could only come from the worst places. That red shift was the needed ingredient to make something good into something great.  After all, Edom only allowed the best to live. Maybe Alec had had to fall just a little in order to fly.<br/>
Alec turned his head to look at the vision beside him. Magnus’ face was bare and soft in sleep. He loved how he was the only one allowed to see this. Magnus Bane: Great Destruction. Alec didn’t think he was wrong in thinking that Magnus’ path was always meant to lead to him being King.<br/>
A pleasant hum in the back of his mind, like a cat purring in the sun signaled Edom’s agreement with the sentiment. Alec closed his eyes and finally felt himself drifting to sleep. His last though being that yeah, everything was going to be fine.    </p><p>Izzy did indeed attack him the next morning. Her testing method of her hypothesis was a little rudimentary. She just threw adamas weapons of varying sizes at him and recorded what happened. Alec may have not been as well versed in the scientific method as his sister, but he still believed that her execution was deeply flawed. Dubious, at best. He told her so with a wildly expressive set of eyebrows. Izzy ignored her brothers face and insisted it was once again for science and in no way because the idea of hurling things at her brother for semi-legitimate reasons sounded like the definition of a good time. Jace even got in on the action, called it “Stabby Dodgeball” and looked to be having the time of his life throwing chunks of raw adamas at his parabatai until an incensed Magnus came storming into the training room. Apparently the king could tell when his domain was under attack even when all the way across town. The two younger Lightwoods then had to tell Magnus just why they were attempting to poke holes in his husband. After that, “Stabby Dodgeball” became “Hot Potato Dodgeball.” Which, was basically Magnus flinging fireballs and warlock fire willy-nilly at his in-laws to express his displeasure.</p><p>Alec, of course, did exactly nothing to defend his siblings. Because consequences. So long as no permanent damage to anyone or to his Institute occurred then he was prepared to turn a blind eye. </p><p>“Things were…basically alright.” –Alec Lightwood, Occasional Glowstick.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. This Could Be a Cause for Concern</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's been five years since Alec found himself at the bottom of a crater and things have mostly reached an equilibrium. But as we all know, chaos is a sneaky opportunist. It comes a calling.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Imma level with you fine people. I am really bad with tenses. What is time? I've combed over this several times, but I'm also positive that I missed at least one tense. I am sorry, but not sorry enough not to post. </p><p>Thank you everyone who gave this a shot. As my first fanfic I don't really have super high expectations. I'm doing this mainly for the experience. I hope you enjoy this even half as much as I enjoyed writing it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alec is trying to make dinner for his love. They had mutually decided to cook at home more often in an effort to foster Alec’s control. It had been a couple of years since they had found themselves at the bottom of a crater in Alicante and things had mostly settled down. Through experimentation the two have found that actions that are meant to take care of Magnus help keep the power inside him calm. One of the primary, if mutually beneficial ways to do this was in the bedroom….or the balcony, or the backroom in Pandemonium, sometimes Alec’s own office, and that one memorable time on a mountainside in the Swiss Alps.</p><p> Additionally, they had also found that other, more mundane things helped as well. Which is why Alec is making dinner. The care and feeding of the King of Edom can be serious business, but tonight it’s to be a quiet affair.</p><p>Tonight’s meal is to be Alec’s mastered showcase attempt at spaghetti carbonara. He is proud of how far his skills have come. Cooking is something he has come to enjoy as the consequences of failure are rarely devastating; a never-to-be-mentioned-ever-again disaster of a soup not-withstanding. His steady increase in skill is met with the praise of his increasingly appreciative husband.</p><p>  He is humming to himself, some pop single that Clary had been playing in the training room earlier that day. It is…distressingly catchy. Dressed down into his favorite sweater and lounge pants with a boiling pot and strainer in hand Alec is a picture of domesticity. It is a feeling he likes.</p><p>He is just starting to lean over the sink when he is suddenly ripped through space (10 out of 10 would not recommend) to an empty warehouse. His glamor was completely shredded. Which was completely understandable, portal travel was turbulent at the best of times. Summoning was that times a thousand. Massive wings spread out behind him in response to the clear threat in front of him. There was a tell-tale itch in his eyes that told him they were glowing. Edom had been brought close to the surface, and not by him. It is at this point where his night becomes decidedly NOT a quiet affair.</p><p>The next thing he is aware of is that he's in a goddamn circle. It is drawn in blood, Alec desperately doesn’t want to know what kind, and there is an obligingly shady looking woman that is standing at the edge, book in hand. All of it is so cliché that it is all he can do to not roll his eyes. Because really…REALLY! </p><p> Alec would like it noted that warehouses, abandoned or otherwise, are not places that any legitimate person wants to be in. (unless they’re a dock worker. He gives all the credit to the logistics industry. That is a tough job and he salutes it) Abandoned warehouses are THE place to be if and only if you aren’t on the level. And literally everyone knows it. So whatever bullshit is going on here is sure to ruin Alec’s night. And his dinner plans. Speaking of which:</p><p>Alec had just started straining the noodles before the world decided to unceremoniously shit its pants, and so the water falls onto the floor and also his bare feet instead of what was up until a few moments ago, the sink. So he is now both confused and angry because A) scalded feet are unpleasant at best; and b) WHAT, and he cannot stress this enough, THE ACTUAL FUCK!? He’s in an unknown location with only a colander to his name. He isn’t wearing shoes. Alec is…viscerally embarrassed.</p><p> It would seem that because of Reasons™, Alec can now be summoned. He is summonable, which is not a thing that he thought could be a thing.</p><p>Alec can't help the idle thought of wishing he had more than a pot full of noodles to defend himself with. Maybe an iron skillet? He remembers the movie that Madzie had made him watch just last week. It had had a heroine with far too much hair using one as a surprisingly effective bludgeoning weapon.</p><p>His musings are interrupted when the grip of power that had been holding him in place slips off. The scalding water, (who would like it noted that it was barely involved, but is very sorry) seems to have had the bonus action of damaging the circle enough that Alec escapes almost immediately; the fact that blood is water soluble working toward his benefit. And wow, thank you Izzy (bless her nerdy heart) for random facts about bodily fluids popping up in his brain at this extremely inconvenient time. Whatever, it’s cool. Now he can focus on resolving the situation he finds himself in. He’s not too worried though. The proverbial cavalry is probably already on its way. </p><p>The point is moot though, because the unknown warlock, who Alec immediately dubs Shady the Summoner, has called down the proverbial thunder. The consequent boom is astoundingly sudden if not overzealously violent.</p><p>Because consequences.</p><p>The least of which being that Magnus comes to the rescue within the first three minutes because you better believe he has his husband magically lo-jacked. It was one of the first things he did after everything, once it became clear that Alec was incapable of keeping out of trouble.<br/> (Also. Insurance purposes.) </p><p>The sound of wards being ripped apart reminds Alec of metal tearing, the deafening screech of it never fails to itch his brain. Not that he cares at the moment because that sound heralded his husband making a suitably dramatic entrance. This is proven to be true when the sliding doors at one end of the warehouse aren’t parted so much as forced to disintegrate in an explosion of incensed rage. Alec can feel a reflexive smile spread across his face. People who kidnap Magnus Bane’s husband apparently  warranted the full King of Edom experience as this unfortunate warlock would-be captor is clearly about to learn.</p><p> The sight of his husband prowling through the now non-existent door was making Alec have an uncomfortable situation happen in his pants. Magnus was always a sight to behold, but damn, did he make unmitigated badass look like the best kind of sin. Still, this was not the place for inappropriately timed erections. To be clear, it wasn’t the boner, it was the witness. Shady the Summoner didn’t deserve to get an eyeful. Only the King got to see such things.</p><p>“Alexander! Are you alright?” There is obvious concern in Magnus’ voice; it is pretty much the only indication that he isn’t a heartless demon lord.  Magnus stalks his way across the floor, zeroing in on Alec. His glamor is absent; a swirling wind gently circles around him and red sparks are dripping almost lazily from his fingers. Feeling Edom stirring deep in his chest Alec knows he isn’t looking at his husband at that moment.</p><p>“I’m fine, My King. She didn’t touch me.” Shady should definitely be thanking Alec for saving her life right now. Had he said anything to the contrary, her body would already be growing cold. </p><p>This seems to relax Magnus. Alec can see him dial his burgeoning wrath down from apocalypse level to somewhere in the “I’m about to shit on your whole life” range. This is good. Magnus reels him in for a kiss. Alec has exactly no objections to this your honor. There are few occasions where he will not take an opportunity to kiss the love of his immortal life. A botched summoning (which he still clueless as to how that is yet another thing he has to worry about now) is not one of them. Not today at least.</p><p>“Now, what have we here?” Magnus’ head snapped toward the warlock responsible. Shady the Summoner, aka Ruiner-of-Dinner has so far shown questionable self-preservation skills. She has bypassed both fight and flight, settling into the less mentioned freeze option. Shady is apparently suitably terrified. This is also good.  </p><p>An almost lazy flick of Magnus’ wrist propelled the errant warlock into the far wall. “Care for an evening stroll darling?” Magnus offered his arm which Alec gladly took as he helped him step over the blood. A small noise of dismay escapes him when he sees the state of Alec’s feet. “Darling where are your shoes?” He quickly summoned a pair of his husband’s running shoes from their closet onto his feet.</p><p>The short walk is spent fending off Magnus’ unrelenting mother-henning. The absence of danger making the need to reaffirm his Alexander is unharmed a necessity. Alec meanwhile, is pouting. Because now that the situation is under control he can now be now be properly bummed about the fact that all his plans are in ruins. They didn’t even make it down the drain! They’re just… sitting there, slowly congealing on the floor along with the remains of his dignity. </p><p>“Well now.“ Magnus started. “It seems that we have a bit of a mystery on our hands Alexander. How is it that this warlock got her hands on this spell? What was the purpose? Most importantly why she thought it was a good idea? Or how did she ever think she was going to survive it?” </p><p>Magnus’s rage had climbed steadily as he spit out question after question at the warlock pinned to the wall. Deep red bordering on purple magic flared out in bursts causing the building to minutely shake. Alec was not the only one that had been changed. Being the King of Edom came with a few caveats his father had never mentioned. Primarily the one revolving around how being King came with an oath given to the realm itself. One where he promised to protect it with his life on pain of death. Compounded with the fact that Edom and Alexander were one and the same these days, the only option was the nuclear one. To do any less could risk in-sighting Edom’s offense or worse, sad puppy eyes. Either one could upset the balance enough to cause Alec to slip. Hence, overkill was the only acceptable option.  </p><p>The promise of imminent death prompts Shady the Summoner to immediately regret every single one of their life decisions. A halting explanation comes out. Between the frightened stuttering and the reflexive crying, Shady, who is ironically named Sandra Shade tells them that…that she wanted to just…..</p><p>Alright listen. Sandra Shade, by no means will ever be called smart. Magic would only be a means to an end for her as she was never very talented with what power she possessed. She is a 97 year old woman in a 30 year old body. A killer body if one could be so bold.  So she plays to her strengths and makes her living being the arm candy of whatever high roller catches her eye, dancing in and out of men’s arms like an ephemeral dream after relieving them of a sizable amount of money and assets. Like all warlocks, she is attracted to power, and there has never been a man who hasn’t fallen for her tricks in all her decades. She had avoided tangling with the Clave because she kept mostly to the mundane side of the world. But the temptation of Alec Lightwood, Head of the New York Institute and Champion of Downworlder Rights was a feather in her cap she could not resist. The fact that he was apparently married, and to a warlock at that, just added an extra level of challenge. Magnus Bane was a known player, no way he would mind, right?      </p><p>Knowing that information was half the battle when it came to other Shadow World denizens, she had looked into what she was up against. Magnus Bane was apparently the son of Asmodeus. Had allegedly spent a brief period bereft of his magic and had heavy dealings with the Nephilim for the past five years. While this was all distasteful it was not insurmountable. Perhaps what was needed was a show of presentation. If knowing was half the battle, then presenting one’s assets better than your enemy was surely the other. </p><p>This slightly convoluted, and most assuredly hormonally driven thinking, led Sandra to an abandoned warehouse (which in her opinion were very convenient in their consistency) to summon up a rift to Edom. The goal was to channel enough power from Edom to make a fair showing that she could be just as enticing as her competition. The added boost would then aid her in her opening gambit in her bid to bag one stunningly handsome Nephilim. </p><p>Asking a married man out on a date was always risk, but Sandra had been playing this game for years. She knew that the opening move was most likely to be brushed off, but it was merely the opening move in a long game. These things took time and persistence. The delicate prodding almost had to be subtle. Sometimes, almost as subtle as…..as opening a rift to Edom.</p><p>Everything had started off going exactly to plan. Her wards, while somewhat on the weaker side, were flawless. She had been extra careful crafting her summoning circle. What looked like the beginnings of a rift had even started to form before promptly collapsing in on itself. In its wake stood one Alec Lightwood, Pasta Enthusiast. Granted, he also looked like the world’s most cuddly night terror what with his deceptively relaxed attire directly conflicting with his glowing purple eyes and ominous crackling wings spread out behind him. These were all genuine causes for concern, but it was the exploding doors and her being violently flung into the wall that made Sandra begin to think that things were about to go bad for her.       </p><p>Turns out, Magnus Bane did mind. The man in fact did not like to share. And, he took great offense when anyone tried to steal his things. Alec Lightwood was most decidedly one of those things. And what was supposed to be an opening move in her latest game ended up being her last move ever. </p><p>Or, it would have been if Alec had not stepped in at the last moment. Edom would always revel at the thought of destruction and Alec had learned to be okay with that. Magnus, however, would likely drown himself in guilt whenever he came down off his high. He was always much more understanding when he wasn’t on his proverbial throne, and despite what everyone thought, Magnus was good. Alec had realized pretty early on that part of marrying Magnus was protecting him from himself. Battling the demons that he could, and comforting him when he couldn’t. So letting Magnus, his King, his reason for being, do something he would deeply regret later was simply not going to happen. </p><p>Instead, Alec offered a different alternative. One that he knew would satisfy Magnus’ need for retribution while sending a strong message to the rest of the Shadow World. Why kill a warlock when you could simply take their magic away? Taking the memory wouldn’t be enough. The knowledge was damning enough, but it was the idea that was the true threat. This may have been the first time something this stupid had ever happened, but that didn’t mean that it couldn’t happen again. Some other idiot could try to dial Edom and get Edom and her plus one instead. The only real response that would stick would need to show just why one should never attempt to do the thing ever again.</p><p>So Magnus binds Sandra’s magic, takes her memory, and banishes her to Pensacola because Florida is a terrible terrible place.  He also officially bans her from Edom for good measure. However, he does this only after he gets her to pay for a standing table for two at The River Café. </p><p>Though that was arguably worse, as that place is hella expensive. It is also Alec’s favorite, even if he has to wear a tie to eat there. He always lets Magnus dress him when they go, and between Alec and nobody (because he will never admit this), watching Magnus have fun picking out his outfit for the day is the entire reason why it’s his favorite in the first place.</p><p>Tonight plans had been upset terribly. And indeed dinner was ruined. Luckily it wasn’t anything too devastating. A portal, a change of clothes, and a call to their favorite Italian place that delivered got everything back on track. Things were most assuredly fine.       </p><p>And fine they remained. There was a hot second where everyone had a collective panic attack when they heard about Shady the Summoner’s aborted seduction plans for Alec, but a midnight research party followed by an early morning ward casting solved that problem real quick. After everyone was done freaking out though, the amount of shit talking is spectacular. As was pretty standard at this point in their lives, everyone’s sass is in peak form. Jace asks him if he has his own zip code now since Alec is technically a walking piece of real estate. Izzy asks whether not he can now unironically get a "Property of Magnus Bane" tattoo. Meliorn asks whether or not Alec offers timeshares during a Cabinet meeting. (Magnus most definitely gets super possessive after that one) Alec can only pretend to be offended; he's too busy laughing at Magnus' face.</p><p>“Magnus relax, everything’s fine.” - Alec Lightwood Bane(and Edom), Chaotic Enablers.</p>
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